I started to see this a couple of weeks ago after a long day of feeding, changing diapers, and trying to contribute to a meeting in a meaningful way while entertaining my four month old. [Please don’t misunderstand me, I LOVE being a mom.] Then I came home to cook for some people that were coming over later that night. I started to wonder if everyone knew the work I was putting into that day. Would they all thank me for it and tell me what a wonderful cook/mom/person I was? Not only that but was all this work in vain if they didn’t? A lot of them did thank me, but it didn’t feel like enough.
My identity, my self worth, and my whole day depended on how others received me. If I wasn’t noticed or thanked, I was down all day. If I was recognized, it was never enough to satisfy my need for it. I couldn’t ENJOY the compliments because I was dependent on them for MY JOY.
Forget confessing my struggles and sins to any of them. I couldn’t allow myself to be seen in an unfavorable light—they wouldn’t approve of me and I needed their acceptance so badly.
I wasn’t serving others selflessly because I needed something from them. All the world’s acceptance and approval couldn’t carry the weight of my identity.
So I was striving to fill myself with any acknowledgement I could get, and I was left wholly unknown and empty.
That is not freedom. It’s bondage to man.
For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.Galatians 5:1
Paul is speaking to the Galatians about finding their righteousness in circumcision, but I think this verse also applies here. Living for man’s approval is a heavy yoke, but Jesus has brought liberty through the cross.
The truest thing about us if we have accepted Christ is that we are His. This is our real identity.
I hope you and I live in this truth today. {We are His.}