What advice can you give to (All the Single Ladies!)?
{Maggie}
Beyoncé just started playing in your head right? You’re welcome. I am here to speak to the ladies about being single. Even I see this blog title and I’m like welp, I don’t need any relationship advice because I’m not in one. But this blog is good for us single ladies too. It’s a reminder that our identity isn’t found in a boyfriend/husband it’s in Jesus, and our deep longings/desires can only be fully satisfied in the Lord. Hearing from our married ladies on staff is great because it puts into perspective what it’s like to be married, but also how it’s not the fairytale that we concoct in our heads whenever we watch a ROMcom. Being single is hard. Being in a relationship is hard. Perfect love, God’s “love is patient, kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud…etc. (1 Cor 13:4-8.) But because we have sin, our love for other people is messy. We are impatient, sometimes rude, jealous, prideful, and demanding. What’s with that? Then we go and expect the guy to fulfill 1 Cor 13:4-8 and he can’t. We are not perfect beings. There are seasons we go through in life where we are single, and where we are in a relationship. The bible doesn’t speak to how long these seasons are, but to wait on the Lord. Patience is something that I’ve been learning over the years through past relationships, and being single and wanting so badly to have someone. God calls us to be patient and wait on him.
I remember when I learned that patience isn’t just simply waiting and being annoyed or pushy about it, but having a worshipful heart whilst waiting for God’s timing. You don’t have to worry. God’s timing is perfect. He is never early, and never late. Personally I’m all about being on time, so I should appreciate this right? But it’s still hard. Once you let go of the idea that a man can make all your dreams come true, and accept that God has a plan, you grow closer to God in the waiting. He (God) delights in you, he cherishes you, he pursues you. You are worth the pursuit. Don’t settle. Don’t believe the lies that you aren’t good enough. Straight up lies. God is molding you and shaping you to be more like Him. He is preparing your heart in ways we can’t even see for what He has planned in our future whether that is marriage or singleness.
{Laura}
Remember marriage is not a promise the Lord has given you. It's not like His promise to lead us through His Word or His promise to provide for all our needs. There is no promise for marriage. I know--it may be an easier thing for me to say now as a married woman. But my heart's desire is for you to guard yourself from putting all your hopes and dreams into something that may not ever be a reality. It's like dreaming about getting that brand new iPhone 6 and never getting it...but a million times worse because it involves your heart and from your heart flow the springs of life. So guard it. Be wise. Appreciate things that go along with marriage, but when your mind starts to picture yourself walking down the aisle before it's actually a reality for you, please, dear sisters, take caution.
When you were single what were the important things you were looking for in a future husband?
{Brooke}
1.He had to be someone that was well-respected on campus and in life. Not known as a flirt but as a man of God. 2. He loved people well and was kind to all no matter what--I noticed this right away when I met Brian. He is one of the kindest and sincerest people I have ever come across...to this day I have never heard him make a judgmental or harsh comment about anyone. I am so thankful for this about him---he challenges me to be more like Christ all the time. 3. He would live life with people that know Jesus and don't yet know Jesus. For me, I really wanted to be in missions & ministry for the long haul. So, I wanted to make sure that the guy was already living missionally and living with eternity in mind. 4. A good time and full of laughter!
Above all---be prayerful. Ask God for a man that is upright, Godly, etc. God cares about these details in your life. You don't have to strive and make every guy that comes along your path notice you. Rest in the Lord, pray, and if there is a guy that God wants you to be married to--He will do it. Trust in that & Rest in that.
If you haven't already-- read You and Me Forever by Francis and Lisa Chan. Brian and I are reading a chapter a week together this semester and loving the challenge of living and loving in light of eternity.
Is there any scripture that you prayed single/ dating that relates to relationships that was encouraging to you during that stage?
{Heather}
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12:1-2 -->> These verses were particularly meaningful to me when I was in a relationship that I felt like I needed to end because it wasn't healthy or glorifying to God. I realized how it was hindering my relationship with God and distracting me from fixing my eyes on Jesus. It was difficult at the time, but God really worked in my life in ways that I don't know if He would have been able to if my eyes were fixed on that relationship instead of Him.
