I love so many things about my job. One of them is the fact that working with students "keeps me young" (at least I like to think so). My husband and I get to host the ODU leaders meetings at our house on Sunday nights. Sometimes I find myself
using urban dictionary after everyone leaves to figure out what they were talking about (you know who you are). Words like "basic" and "on fleek" are the newest in my vocabulary :) So I decided to turn to Urban Dictionary to see how they define Bestie (don't worry I already knew what this one meant!)
Bestie: "One you hold in highest esteem... the person who you not only go shopping with on a regular basis but also trust implicitly with anything.. besties do not come and go like waves and sandcastles, they are more like permanent marker on American Eagle jeans, they'll stay with you forever. It is much better to have one pure and good bestie who is true to you than multiple 'besties.' "
So I've only lived in the same town as my "besties" a couple times during my adult life. The first of course was college. We lived near each other, "studied" together, ate together, and were involved in Cru together. Even the occasional sleepover! I have lived in a few different places since college. After I started dating my husband I moved to Norfolk to be closer to him. Bonus: My best friend already lived here! Sadly she and another best friend I met in Norfolk moved away a while ago and lately I have really been missing doing life with "besties." (Side note: the ironic part is when I was in college I just wanted to meet my husband, get married, and be a mom. My guess is many of you want the same thing and you want it sooner than later. Well that's a great desire to have but let me tell you, if you're not content now then getting married is not going to change that.)
Do I love being a wife and mom? Heck yes.
Can motherhood be lonely? Unfortunately, yes.
I think when it comes down to it I just love being around girlfriends who know me, like really know me. We all want people in our lives (yes, even you introverts). We need others for friendship, encouragement, and at times for our own sanity. But what happens when we take a good thing like friendship and make it the most important thing? People and relationships can easily become an idol in our lives and this is d a n g e r o u s.
Here's why.
People can't complete us and they weren't meant to. (Am I the only one who thinks of Jerry Maguire here? "You... complete.. me"). Well, sorry Jerry, only Jesus can truly complete me.
People will always let you down in some way. I love what Paul Tripp (this year's speaker at Radiate!) has to say on the topic.
"It's vital to remember that human love is a wonderful thing - you should pursue people who love you, and you should be pursued by people because you're loving. But you will only ever find life - real, heart-changing, soul-satisfying life - in a vertical relationship with one Person (capital P).
Only Christ can be your source of spiritual vitality and strength. Only Christ can save you, change you and deliver you from you. Only Christ can give your soul what it's desperately seeking.
Could it be that the disappointment you experience in your relationships is the product of unrealistic and unattainable expectations? Could it be that you have unwittingly put people in God's place? Could it be that you ask the people to do what only Christ can do for you?
There is but one Savior, and He is yours forever. You don't need to put that burden on the person next to you."
Wow, what a great reminder that no matter who we have or don't have in our lives, Christ will never leave us. He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. When friends move away, boyfriends come and go, our health or weight or income changes, even when people we love pass away, Jesus is with us. The relationship God offers you is the only thing in your life that won't change.
God's word tells us the secret to contentment,
"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through Him who gives me strength." Phil. 4:12-13
Jesus is the answer. It's through Him we can handle any and every situation. When I'm missing friends, God reminds me that HE is my best friend and He isn't going anywhere.
I pray you and I learn to find our contentment in Him today and every day!
***PS: I challenge you to ask yourself the 3 questions above from Paul Tripp, then go register for Radiate. You won't regret it!