Change: “the act or instance of
making or becoming different.” It is a concept that I don’t embrace very often,
and sometimes (even though I know I can’t control it, I try to avoid change).
Why does change make me uncomfortable? I think it’s because there isn’t a set
pattern, I can’t control the change or keep it from coming, and I don't like
having unknowns. I am a J on the Myers Briggs after all. I like everything to
be planned out, to have its place, and for things to happen on my timeline.
These past several months have been the definition of change. I moved out of my
house in Newport News, said goodbye to a lot of friends. I spent six weeks in
Colorado for Cru staff training only to come back and continue traveling every
weekend for a month for weddings. Then I lived at home up until 3 weeks ago to
support raise (and God provided 100% in 100 days woop woop!) and now I live in
an apartment in Newport News with a brand new dog...that's a ton of change. I
think I handled it well, but I also think I avoided handling it at all and I
just moved on without processing all the differences in my life.
The Lord has been slowly showing me how my
life is different as single 24 year old Cru staff member and dog owner. He’s reminding me
that change is good. He doesn’t say it’s not painful. But he does say it’s
healthy. In John 15:1-3, the analogy of the vine and branches is used. It says
“...and every branch that bears fruit, he prunes it so that it will bear more
fruit”. God has shown me this in my friendships and community. I went from
having a bunch of friends at CNU, to CO where I had to make new friends and
then leave them, to head home where there were no friends and return to campus
this week where there are a ton of people. I needed to have this season of
being alone at home because God showed me how I, yet again, was depending too
much on others for fulfillment. Community is so wonderful, and a huge blessing
from the Lord, but it so easily became an idol for me that I needed a heart
check, for that community to be removed for a short while to realize that. I
love that we have four seasons (sometimes just in one week). It reminds me that
change is a good healthy thing, and through that changing of seasons, we grow.
If it always looked the same every day, there wouldn’t be much room for growth
and movement. This process of pruning might seem unfair at first, but looking
back it’s easier to grasp the reasons for it. The wonderful thing is that in
all of this changing of seasons and chaos, the one constant we have in this
life is Jesus.“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever”
(Hebrews 13:8). Through this season of change in my life, Jesus dying for my
sins is still true, Jesus loving me fully and completely is still true, my
identity is still a daughter of the most high King, and through all the chaos I
still live to glorify Him. None of that has changed. In seasons of change, I
will cling to the one constant I have, Jesus Christ.
