We've asked some men in our life to share with you next week things they desire for you to know about relationships and dating! First, we want to share some of our thoughts on relationships with you. So whether you are single, dating, or engaged, we hope this will spur you on to love the Lord your God with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind.
Part 1:
What advice have you heard about dating/marriage that has stuck with you?
{Brooke}
Recently I was listening to a Matt Chandler sermon(Pastor of the Village church in Texas). He was talking about Biblical Manhood...and he paused to address the female audience and he said something to the effect of, ---> Ladies, set the bar high when it comes to who you want to marry. You are valuable...don't settle for a guy that is just okay! If you are lonely-get a cat because the cat won't cause you the heart break of some boy who can shave will. Wait for a man-- a man that loves God with his whole heart and desires to serve people and love people and live out Biblical manhood. Don't treat yourself cheaply!. ---> Strong words from Matt Chandler but I LOVED IT. It's so worth it to wait for a guy that's worth waiting for. And, if he never comes--it's okay and good to be single! I've written a little about waiting seasons here.
To listen to the Matt Chadler series, "A Beautiful Design" go here.
{Heather}
Tim Keller's sermon series on marriage and dating really helped prepare my heart for marriage. There was so much great stuff that it's difficult to pick out just one thing, but I'll try. I realized that I had an unhealthy expectation that marriage would solve all my problems and completely fulfill all my longings (or at least most of them). That thinking is dangerous when you're dating, but it's even more so after you're married. Marriage is really beautiful and fulfilling in a lot of ways, but it was never meant to hold all that weight of your happiness. It will crush your spouse if you are expecting him to resolve all your loneliness, make you feel beautiful at all times, or give your life meaning.
"Why did God come down through Jesus? He was trying to get his wayward bride back. He was crucified by his own bride. As Jesus was on the cross looking down, realizing what it would take for him to stay and love us to the end, He stayed."
Jesus is the lover of our souls, and our ultimate satisfaction can only be found in Him--whether you are married or not.
{Meg}
There were times during my time as a single woman that things were really challenging that I now treasure so much more as a (freshly!) married woman. Learning what it looks like to be content and find my identity in Jesus alone was the biggest thing. Throughout trials as a single woman, I was forced to come face to face with the fact that I didn't actually believe that God loves me. As I sought Him and sought Scripture, I "have come to know and to believe the love that God has for me" as it says in 1 John 4:16. As I grew in my contentment in having my identity in Jesus alone, by the power of the Holy Spirit and submitting to him, I was able to see that my circumstances or my relationship status didn't define me. Jesus did and what He says about me is my truest identity. Now that I am married (which is still weird to say), I see that God was using that time to prepare me to not find my identity in John-Mark, but instead to find my identity in Jesus. When John-Mark fails me, I still can remain secure in Jesus and His unfailing faithfulness and goodness. Now that we are married, my life is entwined into John-Mark's, but it is not found in John-Mark. That key has led to a healthier relationship with him from the beginning than it would have been otherwise.
What caught your attention about your spouse?
{Heather}
I met Ramsey at a conference for Cru staff in our region, so I knew we had similar passions from the start (for God, the Great Commission, and college students to name a few). There's A LOT that caught my attention about Ramsey but here are two things: This may seem like a silly one, but I found out he helped with finances for our region which showed me he was financially responsible, a hard worker, and willing to serve in ways that weren't glamorous. Something else I learned about Ramsey not long after we met was that he lost his mom a few years before. To know that Ramsey continued to walk with God through such difficult circumstances told me a lot about his character.
{Meg}
I had known John-Mark for a long time, so I had seen the good and the bad and I knew the things about him that could potentially bother me before we started dating. But what really drew me to him was the fact that I saw that He was a man of character who loved Jesus, sought Him, and was a man that I respected. I saw him grow over time before we started dating seriously a year and a half ago, so I was privileged to watch God grow him and transform him into a man of maturity. He is someone who not only can I be my most true self around (which is a gift!) but who also makes me more ME and more of the woman that God is creating me into. We have fun together and he challenges me to grow. I love that about him. It's so not worth it to settle for someone who is less than what God has intended for you. Find a man who loves Jesus more than he loves you and who you can respect and want to follow for the rest of your life. That's what matters.
{Laura}
My top priority was wanting a man that would point me towards God because of his own love for Him. I wanted to thirst for God more than the man. The first time Dan and I sat to talk, we only had an hour and a half to get to know one another. There were so many things we could have talked about for 90 minutes but Dan constantly was steering the conversation towards spiritual things. It wasn't in an awkward or forced way--it was simply because his mind was dwelling on things above. I walked away from it honestly not knowing if I would ever talk to Dan again. But rather than leaving me with my mind spinning about him, Dan left me thinking, "I want to know Jesus more like he does". That was really special to me.
Tomorrow we continue with Part 2.
& next week will be posts from Tidewater and RVa Cru staff & student men!
